Peeling the Layers of Sports

Sports always seems to have people reeling. There's something about sports that just gets people fired up, to the point which there have been new video games* and movies* broadening on America's seemingly favorite past-time. Football fits into the category of pointless past-times, yet they succeed in drawing benches of viewers, sitting in the sub-zero temperatures, bundled in layers and layers and layers and layers of under-armer, sweaters, coats and scarves. However, there must be some kernel of reasoning that draws this viewers forward, freezing in the stands at Cortaca (the match between Cortland and Ithaca--one of the most rivaled teams in history).

Well, do you want to know what I think? Well, under the layer of football and alcohol and the general mirage of entertainment, there lies a secret. What? You want to know what it is? Well...if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret, would it?

Okay.

Alright.

If you insist.

SPIDERMAN WILL BE AT CORTACA!!!!

Okay, so I said it.

You want to know how I know?

My Spidey-sense is tingling. No, but I actually do have a logical equation to show you my reasoning.

Let me show you this equation:

Football + General Drunkness --> Violence + Crime --> Superheroes = Spiderman

It's a simple equation to balance, is it not?

So why are the Cortaca tickets all sold out? Well, everyone loves a hero right. And if the masses will be there, so will Spiderman.

Signing Out,

Your Secret Spidey-Reporter

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